Anaxios TV, originators of such original shows as “Thirty Minutes with Father Seraphim” and “What Are You Doing Watching Television When You Could Be Praying?”, this past week announced a mid-season replacement for the flagging “Helpful Household Hints from the Phanar”: a new reality-based show teasingly titled, “Monastic Eye for the Married Guy.” The show’s pilot aired this past Tuesday.
Each week five sombre monks invade the home of an Orthodox married couple and give advice for how they could make their home and their lives more completely Orthodox. From dressing up the icon corner (“I can see empty wall space!” chides Brother Anastasios), ridding one’s home of sinful secular publications (“Reader’s Digest? What could you be thinking?” tsk-tsks Brother Xenios), to caring for the family dog (“Flea shampoo: it’s not just for monks anymore,” suggests Brother Boris), the monks do a complete make-over on the home and its occupants (“White is so not your colour,” says Brother Philip; “Maybe something in a sombre head-to-toe black would be better?” adds Brother Zacharios).
Ratings for the new show have shot through the proverbial roof, smashing all previous ratings for an Orthodox television show. Network executives are pleased and suggest they may create other shows featuring the five charismatic monks. One possibility is a detective drama, to be called simply, “Monks.”
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