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Christ Is Risen!

Indeed He is risen!

Happy Pascha from your friends at the Onion Dome!

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The Paschal Homily of our Father Among the Saints John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople

Pascal Homily 1 Continue Reading »

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Saint Invites Early, Late, and Unbelievably Tardy to Feast

2013-0504.You-Are-InvitedA statement released from Heaven this week invites a number of unexpected guests to the Banquet. Speaking on behalf of the Host, spokesman St. John Chrysostom lists the following guests:

  • The 14-year-old who thought he would die of fasting;
  • the catechumen who has been checking the fine print on everything in the grocery store;
  • the recently chrismated mother of three who has been giving her kids cheese sandwiches because they hate peanut butter;
  • the retired golf enthusiast who discovered it was Lent on the Monday after the Sunday of the Cross;
  • the business traveler who just got home two weeks before Pascha
  • the Prodigal suddenly drawn by the memories of Holy Week.

The Banquet will be served in a variety of venues around the world. Check local listings for times and locations.


Copyright © 2004–2014 Jan Bear. All Rights Reserved.
This report was first filed by Onion Dome rambling reporter Jan Bear in April, 2004.

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The Paschal Canon (Facebook Style)

Paschal Canon Facebook Style

Copyright © 2012-2014 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

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In Idaho the Times They Ain’t a Changin’

2015-0308.potato clockMoscow, Idaho – A small church in Moscow, Idaho is refusing to accept daylight savings time. St. Gregory of the Mogollons has taken the example of some Midwestern communities and remains on the same time schedule through out the year. However, St. Gregory’s takes it one step further by being the only organization in town that refuses to change.

“All this change is confusing for parishioners,” said St. Gregory’s priest, Fr. Peotr Rolechsovich. “How can we worship if there be changing two times a year?”

“In old country, where I come from, is there one time. Clock moves around and around. There is no interfering from people.”

When told that the time change was a way to help farmers, Fr. Peotr retorted, “What help to farmers? Is farm yard that is confused. One day farmer comes at one time, next day is different. How do hens know when to lay of eggs with all this change?”

Fr. Peotr was asked what affect the church’s refusal to follow daylight savings time had on his parishioners. He responded, “Is up to them to find worship. Worship is not of this world. Worship is of God, and God not tied to time and space.” Fr. Peotr was then reminded that Pascha was at a different date every year. He simply snorted and said, “That is different horse of color.”

When presented with the question about parishioners having to come to church in the dark because of the time difference, Fr. Peotr had a ready reply. “Church is always dark. This is Orthodox way.”

Local resident and church member Spuds Souply said that you kind of get used to the time differences. “Just like celebrating Pascha when the rest of the community has already celebrated Easter, you get used to it. It’s been this way since I was a small fry.”

As a final question, Fr. Peotr was asked if he took the same stand on leap years. “What is this leap year?” Fr. Peotr asked. When told it was a way of keeping the calendar straight, and keeps Christmas from eventually falling in July, Fr. Peotr said, “Christmas can no come in July. Is always in January. Where did you go to get learning?”

This report was originally filed by Onion Dome confused correspondent Kyle Howard on April 1, 2005.

Copyright © 2005-2015 Kyle Howard. All Rights Reserved.

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