Leave a comment

Twitter Feed from an Orthodox N00b

Twitter LogoOriginally posted in The Onion Dome on August 1, 2009

Just got here – this guy is chanting something but there’s nobody else here
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

No wait – I heard somebody from behind the wall at the front say some stuff after the Lord’s prayer
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Here comes somebody! old couple – they fiddle with some bread on a platter and light some candles
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

The old lady came over and hissed at me and told me to put my phone away – I moved over on the opposite side of a pillar where she can’t see me
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

It’s 9:30 – the service is supposed to start now but there’s almost nobody here and that chanting guy is still going on – maybe I got the time wrong?
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Looking around some – people are kissing a lot of stuff – pictures on the wall, pictures on little tables
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Something is happening – a curtain at the front has opened – there’s a guy in a gold robe standing with his back to us
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Now another guy in gold came out of a little door and is standing by the doorway – oops, here we go
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

He keeps chanting stuff and the choir keeps going Lord have mercy – very repetitive
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Now the choir is taking over! Singing something from the psalms it sounds like
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Sorry, got distracted – there was a kerfuffle with the old lady and a hot babe apparently about how the babe was dressed
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Now the guys in gold are coming out the door holding a golden book – lots of little kids leading the way – cute
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Now the choir sings come let us worship – what have we been doing until now? something tells me this is going to be a long service
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

More stuff from the choir followed by more lord have mercys – it has a certain rhythm but it’s hard to dance to
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Guy in black came out of the little door and read from the NT, sandwiched by some elaborate back and forthing with the choir and one of the guys in gold
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

This little girl keeps running back and forth from her parents to a woman in the choir who picks her up and puts her back down again
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

People still coming in
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

More reading from the NT by a guy in gold, then another guy in gold came out and preached a very short sermon
Posted 3 hours ago from mobile phone

Something about pigs running into the water being a symbol of baptism
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

No wait it was rowing across the water to the other side that was a symbol of baptism – I forget what the pigs were a symbol of
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

More lord have mercys – these people must really need a lot of mercy lol
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Standing on this marble floor really hurts my feet – I don’t know how the old ladies do it
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Some of these pictures are very strange – there’s one of an old man feeding a bear and one of an old guy carrying a little model of a church – maybe he’s an architect
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

People keep milling around – hey now people are queuing up for something
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Here comes the guy in gold with a gold cup and a spoon
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Weird – he’s spoonfeeding something from the cup into people’s mouths
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Oh wait I’ll bet that’s communion
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

How nice – somebody came over and gave me a piece of bread
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Boring bread though
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

And another piece of bread
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

And another
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

My mouth is getting dry
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Oops there goes the cup
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

I’ll bet this is the end – sounds like the end
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Nope, there’s more – this part will be the end though
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Egad now there’s another end
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Okay, that was the end
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Now everybody is going up to kiss a cross the guy in gold is holding
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

And the chant guy has started up again – the whole service has been the meat in a chant guy sandwich
Posted 2 hours ago from mobile phone

Now I’m being dragged downstairs
Posted 1 hour ago from mobile phone

Ah, food! what a spread!
Posted 1 hour ago from mobile phone

Back again – the old lady came over to talk and I had to put the phone away – apparently I was holding my fork wrong
Posted 45 minutes ago from mobile phone

Well think I’ll go home now – interesting experience – I’ll have to blog about it
Posted 45 minutes ago from mobile phone

Copyright © 2009-2011 by Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

If you like Alex Riggle’s Orthodox-themed satire, you might enjoy his recently-released book, Is Outrage!, which gathers all (but one) of the Father Vasiliy articles from the Onion Dome under one cover. Just sayin’.

Advertisements

About Your Intrepid Blogger

I live in the Tacoma area. When not writing things some people think are funny, I teach technology to 7th and 8th graders at a local middle school.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: