DES MOINES, IOWA – If choking down the non-fasting food becomes a podvig, does that mean it’s acceptable to break the fast? When seven-year-old Katrine (“St. Katherine the Great”) Sanderson opened her family’s fridge, all she saw to eat was a weird tin of stuff and some Oreos.
“I don’t actually know why the Oreos were in the fridge,” she said, “but Oreos are so yummy, and the stuff in the tin smelled disgustamundo. It didn’t seem fair to have Oreos on the fast, so I ate some of the stuff in the tin.”
“Did you know what it was?”
“The tin said it was ‘pate,'” she said dubiously, “which I thought might be some kind of tofu experiment.”
“Katrine, have you ever read the ingredients in a package of Oreos?”
“It’s utterly vegan.”
She looked dismayed. “The pate was really icky,” she said miserably. “I didn’t know it’d be okay to have the Oreos…Mom doesn’t want me eating dessert during the fasts, so I ate the pate instead. But now I think I wish I’d ate the Oreos.”
“Pâté,” corrected your terce reporter with a twitch. “It’s French.”
“For what? Paste?”
“Er…yeah, more or less. Do you know what it is?”
“Mom says it’s goose. But in Charles Dickens movies they’re always eating goose at Christmastime, so I thought goose was supposed to taste good.”
“Well, it’s only part of a goose.”
Katrine looked horrified. “Shouldn’t that come with some sort of warning label?!”
Your terce reporter grimaced. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why do people eat that?”
“It’s a delicacy.”
“Next you’ll be telling me people eat snails!”
Your terce reporter shrugged. “Hey, at least they’re fasting.”
This report filed by terce reporter Brigid Strait.
Copyright © 2012 Brigid Strait. All Rights Reserved.