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Ask Father Vasiliy

Dear Father VasiliyFr. Vasiliy Vasileivich is official spokesman for the Church Overseas of Russian Orthodox Christians (COROC), as well as being pastor of Saints Boris and Gleb and Olga and Vladimir Russian Orthodox Church, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. On occasion (when the fit takes him) he condescends to answer questions posed by Onion Dome readers, which pile up in a special “in-box” dedicated to the purpose here at the offices of Onion Dome Publications. We are pleased to announce that the fit has once again taken the good priest, and thus we present for your edification yet another round of, “Ask Father Vasiliy.” (NB: This column was first posted in December, 2003)


Dear Father Vasiliy,

My brother, who is not Orthodox, is marrying my ex-wife, who is Orthodox. He has asked me to not come to the wedding, but Yia-Yia Helen will be making her famous baklava for the reception, and I’d hate to miss it. Should I go?

Signed,
Perplexed in Paducah

Dear Perplexed:

What is wrong with this ex-wife of yours that she would leave good Orthodox boy to marry heathen reprobate pagan sinner? Stay far away from this so-to-call-it wedding and get baklava some other time. Perhaps if you would call this Helen on phone, she could to save some baklava out for you? It cannot hurt to be asking.


Dear Father Vasiliy,

My husband has recently started collecting Soviet Union military insigniae. Should I be worried?

Signed,
Misgivings in Melbourne

Dear Misgivings:

Worried? You should be moving back in with mother. Yesterday.


Dear Father Vasiliy,

I have had visitations in my dreams from Bishop Raphael of Brooklyn, but he was canonized by new-calendarist ecumenist heretics. The cognitive dissonance is giving me migraines.

Signed,
Old Calendarist in New York

Dear Old Calendarist,

Please to take acetaminophen. Aspirin and ibuprofen are too hard on stomach.


Dear Father Vasiliy,

I want to go see the Nutcracker ballet, but it only runs during Advent. Is it wrong to go to the ballet during a season of fasting?

Signed,
Music Lover in Manitoba

Dear Music Lover,

This is very difficult moral dilemma. On one hand, is season of fasting, and doing anything enjoyable during season of fasting is problem. On other hand, this is ballet by Nineteenth Century Russian composer, and can it ever be wrong to see ballet by Nineteenth Century Russian composer, even during fast?

O! Why cannot these modern people do Advent and Christmas right? Why must they celebrate before feast? In Nineteenth Century Russia, ah, then people knew how to fast, and when fasting was over, then they celebrated. At least, so my sainted grandmother is having told me.

Anyway, do not go to ballet on Wednesday, or on Friday, or on Christmas Eve. And try not to be enjoying it too much.


Dear Father Vasiliy,

Is it wrong to wear my Onion Dome t-shirt under my cassock?

Signed,
Trepid in Tacoma

Dear Trepid:

Wait, is this Reader Alexiy? You goofball. It cannot possibly matter what sergianist new-calendarist ecumenist so-to-call-him “Reader” is wearing under his robes. But don’t take cassock off where anyone can see. Make like this Clark Kent and remove cassock, if you must be removing cassock, in private place.


Well that’s about all we have time for this time – please send your questions to Ask Father Vasiliy, care of the Onion Dome.

Copyright © 2003-2012 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

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About Your Intrepid Blogger

I live in the Tacoma area. When not writing things some people think are funny, I teach technology to 7th and 8th graders at a local middle school.

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