Leave a comment

December 16 Saints of the Day – Theophano the Empress and Adelaide of Burgundy

On this day in 1915, Albert Einstein published his “General Theory of Relativity.” It sold rapidly, depending on your inertial frame of reference.

Empress TheophanoTheophano the Empress (d. 893 or maybe 897) had ancestors, but her contemporary biographers didn’t know who they were (or if they knew, they were too polite to say; we’ll never know). Her story is closely tied up with that of her husband, who was not a saint, as you shall see. Leo the Wise (for such was his name) was the son of Eudokia Ingerina and Emperor Basil I, unless he was the son of Eudokia Ingerina and Emperor Michael III. Eudokia was Michael’s mistress and Basil’s wife, in roughly that order (with perhaps a little overlap), and Leo was born about nine months after the overlap.

Basil’s first son died, and Santavarinus, an evil wizard, wormed his way into Basil’s heart by inducing some kind of vision or hallucination in which Basil hugged his departed son. Leo suspected Santa (the wizard, not the Coca Cola salesman) was bad news and generally avoided him, which made Santa hate him. Still Leo didn’t exactly distrust him, so when Santavarinus suggested he hide a dagger in his boot the next time he and Basil went hunting to protect his father against some nefarious plot, Leo agreed to do so. Santavarinus then told Basil that Leo was planning to kill him with a dagger concealed in his boot. You see where this is going. Basil confronted Leo, who innocently showed him the dagger, and wound up in prison along with his wife, our saint, Theophano. Basil intended to put Leo’s eyes out (a popular punishment in medieval Constantinople) (you’ll see), but his nobles (and the Patriarch) would not let him.

Some three years later, Basil’s pet parrot was being shown to dinner guests, when it said, “Woe! Woe for my lord Leo!” Everybody stopped eating. Silence filled the hall. A dog in the distance barked. Finally, a nobleman said, “Even a stupid bird knows Leo is innocent.” Basil remorsed, and freed his son and daughter-in-law. After Basil died, Leo had Santavarinus blinded (see?) and exiled.

Theophano retired to her chambers, made a pallet on the floor, and spent the rest of her days in prayer, repentance, almsgiving, and a hairshirt, using whatever wealth came her way for the support of the poor. Leo was impressed by her saintliness, but not quite impressed enough not to take a mistress. Theophano removed to a monastery. Either before or after she died, Leo proposed to build a church dedicated to her, but either she or his ministers (or both) nixed the idea. It was he, nevertheless, who dedicated the Sunday after Pentecost to All Saints, intending (according to some sources) that his first wife (eventually he had four) would be commemorated thereupon.

Adelaide of BurgundyAdelaide of Burgundy (ca. 931 – 999), a Burgundian princess, was promised in marriage at age two to Lothair, eventual King of Italy, with whom she nuptialed at age sixteen (a long engagement, but understandable given circumstances). Lothair was poisoned (presumably) by his successor Berengarius. When Adelaide refused to marry Bery’s son, Bery imprisoned her. When Otto the Great (“Are you really great?” she asked him. “You Otto be”) (somehow I doubt that joke works in either German or Italian) defeated Berenny, he freed Adelaide from prison and imprisoned her in marriage to himself. He was crowned Holy Roman Emperor, and managed to stay that way for twenty years.

Otto I’s successor Otto II (Adelaide’s stepson) treated his stepmother abysmally (a grim tale that reversed the Grimm tale). O2 died when O3 was just a suckling, and O2’s wife Theophano (sic!), acting as regent, managed to get Adelaide kicked out of court. When Theophano died, Adelaide took over as regent, using the opportunity to help the poor, evangelize, build and restore monasteries and churches, and play Final Fantasy XIV. When Otto III came of age, Adelaide retired to a monastery and lived out her days in prayer, although never officially becoming a nun. She is one of the patron saints of step-parents and “against in-law problems.”

Copyright © 2013 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

This Day in History for 16th December
The Great Collection of the Lives of the Saints, Vol. 4: December (book on paper) – Main source
Blessed Empress Theophano (OCA)
Theophano Martiniake (Wikipedia)
Leo VI the Wise (Wikipedia)
Basil I (Wikipedia)
Image of Theophano from the Menologion of Basil (XI cent.) (detail) via Wikimedia (Public domain according to this rule).
Saint Adelaide of Burgundy (SQPN) – Main source
Adelaide of Italy (Wikipedia)
Image of Adelaide from Wikimedia user Bewareofdog (public domain).


About Your Intrepid Blogger

I live in the Tacoma area. When not writing things some people think are funny, I teach technology to 7th and 8th graders at a local middle school.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: