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Saint Invites Early, Late, and Unbelievably Tardy to Feast

2013-0504.You-Are-InvitedA statement released from Heaven this week invites a number of unexpected guests to the Banquet. Speaking on behalf of the Host, spokesman St. John Chrysostom lists the following guests:

  • The 14-year-old who thought he would die of fasting;
  • the catechumen who has been checking the fine print on everything in the grocery store;
  • the recently chrismated mother of three who has been giving her kids cheese sandwiches because they hate peanut butter;
  • the retired golf enthusiast who discovered it was Lent on the Monday after the Sunday of the Cross;
  • the business traveler who just got home two weeks before Pascha
  • the Prodigal suddenly drawn by the memories of Holy Week.

The Banquet will be served in a variety of venues around the world. Check local listings for times and locations.


Copyright © 2004–2017 Jan Bear. All Rights Reserved.
This report was first filed by Onion Dome rambling reporter Jan Bear in April, 2004.

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About Your Intrepid Blogger

I live in the Tacoma area. When not writing things some people think are funny, I teach technology to 7th and 8th graders at a local middle school.

2 comments on “Saint Invites Early, Late, and Unbelievably Tardy to Feast

  1. […] Saint Invites Early, Late, and Unbelievably Tardy to Feast [The Onion Dome] […]

  2. […] Saint Invites Early, Late, and Unbelievably Tardy to Feast. […]

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